Broken
by proud-yaoi-fangirl
Summary: It happend... the memories and scars are proof. I was raped. oneshot just brotherly love... lots of angst


**Hey yall B-chan here... I really hope you like this story. Im rather fond of it but Im not sure if Im totally happy with the ending so give me a little feedback and I'll see if I can make it a little better.  
Disclamer: I, B-chan, dont own any of the following charaters so dont think I do  
Random fan: I think you do.  
B-chan: Stabs random fan in the eye with a spork I warned you... now on with the story**The younger Hitachin curled up in the middle of his plush king sized bed. The room was large but completely without emotion. The walls were devoid of any art, posters, or anything that may have given it some character. There were no pictures on the bureau, no stains on the floor. It was impeccably immaculate, like some upscale hotel room.

* * *

This had been his room for 3 ½ months. This had been his hell.

His older brother was in his own room (the room that they use to share). Sometimes the younger twin would press his ear up against the wall just in hope that he would hear something of the older one. He would push until his jaw hurt and his ear rang.

But not now, at this moment the young carrot top was contemplating his own death. Not that he would ever go through with it mind you, he didn't wish to put his loved ones through that. But he liked to think, to imagine, to wish and hope. Then things wouldn't hurt so badly.

He ran his hand over his inner thigh, where the bruises use to be. It traveled, almost unconsciously, over his hips, stomach, and back, brushed along the still raised, and slightly red, teeth marked scar. It had happened. The memory and the scars were proof. He had been raped…

It had happed almost a year ago (9 months 3 days and approximately 13 hours Kaoru could tell you). Kaoru had been in the park studying while Hikaru had been at the mall with Hunny and Mori sempai, trying to find a present for Hunny's little brother. A boy only slightly older than himself had sat down next to the young hitachin twin.

As Kaoru looked back on this day many things were wrong. So very wrong. To him the boy should have been ugly and deformed. Fat, pimpled, and stupid. But he wasn't. The other boy was beautiful, with eyes the color of the sky and hair a deep auburn, his skin was smooth and devoid of any marks.

The sky should have opened up, turning grey, and pouring rain in rivers. But it was bright and sunny with a slight breeze. A bird squawked obnoxiously, almost comically, in some nearby tree. And children could be heard playing on the equipment just on the other side of the hill. Hollywood had tricked him, left him vulnerable, but it wouldn't happen again.

The boy had started up a conversation with the young redhead, his voice was sweet and soft, almost feminine. He radiated intelligence with every word that fell from his well formed lips. Kaoru let his guard down, having no reason to distrust this charismatic stranger. That just happened to be the biggest mistake of his life.

How it happened doesn't really matter, all that really counts is that it did happen. The young heir can still feel the other boy inside him, ripping him apart, touching parts of him that were not meant to be touched by this stranger. In that moment he felt as though his soul was being forcefully removed by way of his rectum.

He felt dirty, sinful, abused. His driver was the first to see him beaten and broken. Then the doctors poking him prodding, treating his cuts taking sperm samples, the room was sterile and for the life of Kaoru he couldn't remember his name or face. The police came next asking questions which he answered dutifully to the best of his ability, though he still wonders if he could have done better.

It wasn't until his family came that the world lurched back into focus. A sharp painful kind of clarity that left him wishing for the cold fogginess that had just moments before consumed him

He saw his mother crying and for the first time in her well manicured life looking… ugly. Tears streamed down her face leaving tracks in her expensive makeup even as snot drizzled from her nose. Every time she opened her mouth strings of sticky saliva connected her lips.

The host club was next Hunny cowered next to Mori who held him protectively against him. But even though the smaller man was practically hiding in Mori's shirt the malicious look in his eye told just how adult and threatening the young blonde was. His eyes showed that there would be a slow painful death to whoever did this.

Tamaki just stared in a stunned silence, lost for words for the fist time…ever. His mouth was slightly agape as if he was seeing Kaoru for the first time. And perhaps he was. Perhaps they all were. Kaoru was no longer part of the pair, he was different. The bruises covering his slight body was proof to that. His face though containing no physical damage was clear of everything that resembled humanity.

Kyouya stood just a little beyond Tamaki also staring at the younger redhead. But instead of the shock that registered on everyone else's face his was cool and calculating. Taking in every bruise and abrasion, you could almost see the wheels in his head spinning, but what the dark haired teen was thinking was beyond Kaoru.

Then finally his gaze fell on his mirror image. What he saw and felt rocked him, possibly changing everything. Hikaru's eyes were cold and hard, but not emotionless, there in the green depth was disgust. Something he never thought he would see from his loving twin. And that second he felt rage, not because of the rape, but because of Hikaru, because it had happened to him and not the other. He would have never looked at Hikaru any different for what happened.

In the months that followed the bruises faded and the cuts healed. But the disgust in his brother's eyes turned to hatred. Slowly the older twin distanced himself from the other moving to sleep on the floor and then the couch, until one day Kaoru packed his necessities and left the room. He didn't take anything that would remind him of his double, not that it mattered. That was all the thought about, Hikaru, rape, and death, in that order.

So here he was lying in the middle of his empty bed surrounded by white walls and empty space, death would be easy, it would complete the silence of this room, making it his crypt.

The silence was broken by a hesitant knock on the door, then opened before an answer (which wasn't coming) was uttered. Hikaru stood there in the door way looking out of place with huge bruise like bags under his eyes.

"Kaoru" It was softly spoken sounded almost foreign.

The younger boy just stared, this wasn't a dream, it couldn't be a dream because if it was the younger twin would surely die of sorrow. "Kaoru why?"

No. It couldn't be happening now. He was going to blame the younger Hitachin for everything. It couldn't be anything he hadn't already told himself but he didn't want to hear it. He closed his eyes in hope to block out the sound.

"Why did you leave me?" The older twin choked out. Kaoru opened his eyes in astonishment. Did he hear right? Or is his brain making things up? "I know I wasn't there to protect you… I should have been. I should have made you come with me or gone with you. It should have been me… I'm so sorry." Tears freely streamed down the older twin's cheeks. (Kaoru had to admit his twin was a much more attractive crier than his mom)

"What are you talking about?" these were the first words he uttered and they held ever bit of confusion that he felt. "I didn't leave you. I saw you that night, you were disgusted with me, and you hated me." His words turned icy. "You left me alone in bed when all I wanted was to be held and loved. You left me alone in this word we created in the midst of chaos."

Hikaru looked like he had physically been struck by the venom in the voice of his sweet little brother. But that didn't stop the younger redhead, he continued as if the look on his brothers face didn't rip out his heart.

"I'm sorry I failed you somehow. I'm sorry…so sorry..." His voice cracked and became almost incoherent. "Maybe he should have killed me…maybe…maybe I should have killed myself… to make your life eas…"

CRACK!

The sound filled the room almost expanding it. Kaoru was reeling from the shock of the sudden pain.

"Don't…you…dare…finish" The transformations was scary and imidiate. Hikaru went form sad to furious in the blink of an eye. "If you ever….EVER… try to kill yourself… I will… I will…" He was shaking and his mind was going to fast for his mouth to keep up.

Silence stretched between the two Hitachin boys, one moment in time separating them. Both felt guilty, both felt lost, neither knew how to bridge the gap.

"Hikaru" It was spoken so quietly it almost blended with the silence. Almost went unheard. Almost. Suddenly his warm arms were wrapped around the younger twin.

"I wouldn't live without you." He whispered into the broken twin's ear. "I wouldn't want to… and kami help me I would follow you, even to our grave."

That was all that was needed. The separation and loneliness that Kaoru had felt over the months was soothed. He was still scared. Still lost. Still broken… But he wasn't alone any longer

"Please come back to me Kaoru… please." The softly begged words seeped into Kaoru's being.

"Yes" That was all that was needed, one simple word to save both of them from a fate worse than death.

* * *

**So whatcha think? R&R please I really want to know what you think**


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